by Gurgurant
"Gilligan, I've been following you for what seems like an hour already", grumbled the Skipper. "Do you have any idea where we are?"
"I know exactly where we are," answered Gilligan.
"Well, where are we then?"
"We're lost!"
"Oh, Gilligan! Well judging from the sky I think if we head directly east we'll eventually hit the beach."
Gilligan looked around aimlessly. "That way!" said the Skipper, pointing in the desired direction.
Gilligan looked in the direction of the Skipper's finger, hesitated, and looked back at the Skipper.
"Well, go on!" said the Skipper, pushing Gilligan toward a clump of jungle foliage. Gilligan stepped forward into the brush, pushing aside the branches to create a path. The thick jungle growth pushed back as if resisting his attempts to pass. Still, Gilligan pushed forward, walking straight into a hanging vine which tangled itself around him. Within moments, the vine had wrapped itself around Gilligan like a coiled spring, which snapped Gilligan backward right into the Skipper's belly.
"Boohp!" gasped the Skipper.
Gilligan spun around to try to untangle the vine, which now wrapped around the Skipper. The Skipper pulled on the vine, while Gilligan continued his spinning, and soon the vine was wrapped around both of them. The Skipper grabbed Gilligan to stop his spinning, and gave the vine a mighty pull. The vine fell to the ground.
"Gilligan would you forget about the vine!" the Skipper growled as he pushed Gilligan forward again. "MOVE!"
Gilligan stumbled head first into another clump of bushes, and immediately his head hit on something solid. As he pushed aside the branches and peered through, he encountered a horrible fierce face staring back at him. Gilligan's jaw dropped, and he jumped back gasping for breath.
"Yaah!", he gasped, and again bumped into the Skipper.
"What is wrong with you now?" asked the Skipper impatiently.
"Y-you lead the way!" Gilligan stammered.
The Skipper stepped forward and pushed the brush aside. The same horrible face stared back through the branches. Startled, the Skipper jumped back. Seeing nothing move, he pushed the branches aside again. The face was fierce, but motionless. There was another above it, and another above that, each one more horrible than the one below.
"It must be some kind of a native totem pole!" the Skipper exclaimed.
"Did you ever see a more horrible looking face?" asked Gilligan.
They looked up to the top of the pole. A lone carved head sat motionlessly on top of the edifice, it's scrawny, almost emaciated, features glaring back with a malevolence uncommon in carved wood.
"Look at that horrible one" said the Skipper.
Gilligan gaped at the cruel, yet simple features. There was something oddly familiar about that horrible face. He stared at it for a couple of seconds before realizing what it was.
"That horrible face is MINE!" he gasped.
From the years they had been stranded on the island, the Skipper and Gilligan had learned exactly what to do in a situation like this. Go get the Professor.
Machetes are a useful tool for clearing away jungle growth. The castaways were fortunate enough to always have at hand whatever was needed for plot development, and so they had enough machetes for the three men to use in clearing away the overgrowth surrounding the totem pole. In just enough time to allow the credits to roll, the Professor, the Skipper and Gilligan had hacked it all away, and stood back to get a good look at their new discovery.
"It's a native totem pole, alright", announced the Professor after mere seconds of observation, "carved by the Kupa-Kai I'd say".
"Kupa who?" asked Gilligan.
"Gilligan, can't you understand English?" chided the Skipper, "KUPA - KAI!"
"If that's English I went to the wrong school!"
"Professor, what is a Kupa-Kai?" asked the Skipper.
"They're a native tribe who used to inhabit some of the islands in this area."
"Look at the head on top", said the Skipper, directing the point of his machete to the top of the totem pole. "The face looks just like Gilligan!"
"It does at that! A bit more ferocious, perhaps, but it is an amazing likeness."
"And I didn't even pose for it!" said Gilligan.
"That's really a good carving!" the Skipper observed, "Those natives bust be pretty handy with a knife!"
"Oh, they're handy with a knife, all right." said the Professor with a slight twinge of irony in his voice. "A fork, too! The Kupa-Kai are one of most ferocious tribes of cannibals in the South Pacific!"
"You mean the people who carved that head... they're cannibals?" gasped Gilligan.
"That's right."
"Do they hunt heads, too?"
"They save the heads as trophies after the banquet. It's a common practice of many of the cannibalistic tribes in this area."
"Do you think they're advertising for me?" asked Gilligan in a trembling voice.
"Oh, I think the resemblance is just an odd coincidence, that's all." the Professor assured. "You must be a dead ringer for one of their Kings."
"Please don't say dead," Gilligan stammered, "not while I'm alive."
"Relax, Gilligan!" said the Professor impatiently. "The Kupa-Kai must have carved that pole many years ago. I really don't think you have anything to worry about."
"You've really it made if those Kupa-Kai's ever come back to the island," joked the Skipper. "You look enough like one of those Kupa-Kai to be one yourself!"
As usual, Gilligan didn't quite get the joke. He fell silent after that and as the three walked back to the camp Gilligan cast his gaze at the ground with a concerned expression on his face. He barely spoke at all for the rest of the evening.
That night, Gilligan lay quiet in his hammock looking at himself in a mirror.
"Skipper, how come nobody ever told me before I looked like a Kupa-Kai?" asked Gilligan, finally breaking his silence.
"Because anybody who knows what a Kupa-Kai looks like isn't alive to talk about it," the Skipper answered.
"I sure do look like one." said Gilligan, still examining the mirror closely.
"Oh, Gilligan, it's just a coincidence; just like the Professor said."
Gilligan put down the mirror and looked down at the Skipper.
"I know what he said! But if two people have a face like mine it isn't a coincidence!"
"That's true," said the Skipper smugly. "IT'D BE A CATASTROPHE!"
"What if that old King is my great, great grandfather or something?" Gilligan wondered aloud.
"Gilligan that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! How could you possibly be related to a native South Pacific cannibal?"
"I don't know," answered Gilligan with a wild eyed stare, "But if that old King on the pole is my ancestor... That means I have cannibal's blood in me..."
This was pushing the limit of what little patience the Skipper had. "WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF!" he growled angrily.
"There is such a thing as..." he searched for what he thought was the right word, "Herdity!"
"HEREDITY," corrected the Skipper. "You look like him because of HER-ED-IT-Y."
"You see!" exclaimed Gilligan. "Even YOU think he was my ancestor!"
"WILL YOU GO TO SLEEP, GILLIGAN."
"Alright... But if you wake up tomorrow morning and you don't have your head; don't say I didn't warn you!"
Gilligan had never had much trouble sleeping and, even in his current state of anxiety, he was soon falling fast asleep. As he faded off, the image of the head on the totem pole continued to plague him, and although there was none in the original episode (but then again, there was no SEX in the original episode either), he began to detect the wavy images and tinkling music of an upcoming dream sequence.
He could feel the bamboo crown of the totem pole head on his own head and his torso was covered with a reed breastplate. Around his hips was the grass skirt of a native and his wrists and ankles were adorned by brightly colored bird feathers. He could feel and smell the warpaint which covered his face and body as he lurked in a cover of jungle shrubbery.
He listened, and could hear a voice approaching.
"Here we go gathering nuts in May, nuts in May, nuts in May." It was the sweet and innocent voice of Mary Ann as she skipped down the jungle path carrying a basket of fruit. She was dressed in Gilligan's favorite outfit: her short, almost bare shouldered, yellow halter top and her short denim cut-offs, cut just short enough to show the slight curve of her buttocks where they met with her delectable thighs. Missing was the rise in front that usually hid her bellybutton, which now winked at him from above her tight shorts and looked to him like a delicious lifesaver candy, ready to be licked. The sight of her made his mouth water and his stomach rumble, and as she passed him he sprang on her from his jungle cover like a pouncing leopard.
"Eeak", she screamed and dropped the basket of fruit. He grabbed her and dragged her over to a nearby stake.
"Oh, kind sir! You have such a kind face. How can I talk you out of doing this horrible deed!" she pleaded as he pushed her up against the stake and started to tie her hands to the stake with some jungle vines.
"Oh, please! Do not harm me cannibal!" she begged, as he tightened the vines around her lithe body. He started a dance around her, and as he did so he heard a chorus of drums begin to beat a sensual rhythm. Turning around, he saw two large cooking pots nearby, one taller and narrower, the other a little shorter and wider. He stooped to pick up the fruit that Mary Ann had dropped and, walking over to the shorter pot, he threw it in. Picking up a large spoon he stirred the water in the pot, and scooped up a small amount of it which he brought to his lips to taste.
It tasted like hot water.
"Needs salt," he said, and grabbing a handfull of salt from a nearby box he dropped it into the steaming water and tasted it again. This time it tasted just like onion soup.
He also discovered that he now had a bone in his nose.
Turning around again he looked over at Mary Ann. He wasn't sure how she'd gotten there (but one doesn't question a dream, especially if you're Gilligan) but Ginger was now tied to a stake right next to Mary Ann. Ginger was dressed in her two-piece pink floral sarong. Her shoulders and midriff were bare, and one creamy white leg protruded from the slit in the lower part the sarong which covered her from her ankles to her 24 inch waist.
Next to her stood a long-haired, muscle-bound cannibal warrior who was pinching the meat on her voluptuous thigh. Ginger struggled half-heartedly against her bonds as the warrior moved his hands to feel her ample white belly. Concluding the caress, he licked his fingers.
"I can't believe it's not butter!" the hunkish warrior exclaimed in a funny Italian accent.
Gilligan strode toward the bound Mary Ann feeling very much like the Cannibal King, and walked up to inspect his catch.
Looking down at her feet, which were bare, he brought his gaze up to her delicate ankles, and then to her firm, trim and tanned legs and lingered his gaze a while at her equally firm, yet plump and curvy thighs. Letting his gaze scan up past her tight-fitting shorts, he drank in the sight of her perfect, flat tummy. He had lost count of how many times he had looked at that tummy before and how many times he had secretly fantasized about sticking his tongue into her tiny, deep navel. This was the tummy that dreams were made of, and his mouth watered at the sight of it. Above her belly he could see her nipples poking out through the fabric of her yellow halter top, and the cleavage of her small, pert breasts above the lace ruffles at the elastic edge. Her brown chest and shoulders ended at the bottom of her long tapering neck, above which was her innocent angelic face surrounded by jet-black hair; braided into pig-tails.
Gilligan smacked his lips at the sight and poked her gently on her perfect tummy. He had to know her taste, and this was the place to do it.
He got down onto his knees, and unfastened the button on her shorts. Pulling aside the flaps as he unzipped her shorts, he leaned forward and plunged his tongue into her waiting navel. She moaned and wiggled as he licked her tummy in long, random sweeps. The taste reminded him of roast beef au jus, which Mary Ann's golden brown coloring had always reminded him of. Standing back up Gilligan licked his lips again.
"UNGAWA!" he said with a big smile while rubbing his belly, although he had no idea what the word meant or why he said it.
Now he turned his attention to Ginger. As Mary Ann was petite and dark, Ginger was tall, voluptuous and light. Her long red hair fell about her pale white shoulders and her pink sarong top barely contained her large, soft breasts.
"Oh Gilligan, you wouldn't do anything to me, would you? We've always been friends, Gilligan" she said in a pleading, but still characteristically sensuous voice.
Gilligan did not answer. All he could do was to stare at those breasts. He had always wanted to feast his eyes on them, and now he would. Reaching out with his left hand, he grabbed hold of the fabric encasing his prize, and he gave it a firm pull. The sarong top fell away easily and Ginger's breasts fell free. They were white as buttermilk, with rosebud pink nipples at the tips. Gilligan reached out his hands to stroke them. They felt soft and velvety in his hands. They were large, and more than a mouthful, so he opened his mouth wide and wrapped his jaws around one of Ginger's milky-white globes. He sucked it in as far as he could get it to go, and swirled his tongue around her translucent titty-flesh. Her breast tasted like vanilla ice-cream, with a sweet maraschino cherry on top. He squeezed her other breast with his hand as he licked around the one. Switching, he moved his mouth to the other breast, which had now picked up an added flavor of whipped cream. He slid his tongue down the crease in the middle of her belly, which tasted like white chocolate, down to her navel. Pressing his tongue deep into Ginger's bellybutton, he could taste one of Mary Ann's coconut-cream pies.
As he tongued Ginger's bellybutton, he ran his hands up her legs under the sarong. From sensuous calves to tender thighs to...
... He felt the soft down of her bush.
Removing his tongue from Ginger's navel he pulled aside the flaps of the sarong, and as he did so he saw a flash of red. In seeming anticipation of what was coming next, Ginger raised her legs and wrapped them around Gilligan's head. He licked his lips in preparation for the next taste treat and closed his eyes, ready to take the plunge into that delightful patch of strawberry colored fur.
He brought up his hands and grabbed hold of Ginger's sensual thighs, but...
Something was wrong. He felt...
HAIR!
Gilligan opened his eyes and fell backward out of the grip of Ginger's legs, and looking up he saw that Ginger was gone. In her place was a tall, thin man with a moustache.
"Hey, Waddaya think YOU'RE doing!" the man said in a familiar voice. "What are ya, some kinda wise guy?"
Gilligan turned his head, and tied to the next stake where Mary Ann should have been was a short, plump man dressed in jungle khakis and a pith helmet.
"You've been a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad boy!" said the man in a high pitched, whiney voice.
Gilligan woke up screaming.
"So we've got a real problem," said the Skipper with his mouth full of morning breakfast.
"You mean Gilligan really thinks he came from a long line of headhunting cannibals?" asked Ginger incredulously.
"Oh that's ridiculous!" Mary Ann interjected, "He's the sweetest, most gentle boy I've ever known."
"Well that may be so, Mary Ann," said the Skipper, "But after he woke up from that dream he went out into the jungle to stare at his ancestor some more."
"Oh, pooh," scoffed Mrs. Howell. "If he was a headhunter why would he settle with the head he has?"
"Don't poo-poo heredity," instructed Mr. Howell. "Like they say, 'Blood will tell.'"
Ginger shivered. "That's easy for you to say, Mr. Howell, he didn't have a dream about turning YOU into a blue-plate special!"
"That only shows that he does have some taste after all!" said Mr. Howell with a lecherous smile. "I've had similar dreams about you myself!"
Mrs. Howell was not amused by that comment, and announcing they were done with breakfast dragged Mr. Howell back to their hut.
"That dream really spooked him," said the Skipper. "He said it all seemed so natural and familiar to him, as if he'd seen it all before!"
"He probably did!" said Ginger. "It sounded to me a lot like a scene from an old Abbott and Costello movie!"
"Dream or no dream, Gilligan is NOT a cannibal and we all know it," insisted Mary Ann.
"Yeah, but how are we going to convince HIM of that?" asked the Skipper rhetorically. At that moment Gilligan walked by the breakfast table with a blank expression on his face.
"Hi, Gilligan!" said Mary Ann cheerfully. "Want some breakfast?"
"How would you like to go fishing, little buddy?" asked the Skipper as Gilligan continued by in a daze.
"Well," said Ginger. "The last time I saw an open-mouthed stare like that was when I was entertaining some GI's at a USO performance."
"How are we going to get Gilligan to forget about that totem pole?" Mary Ann wondered aloud. The others shrugged their shoulders, and cleared the breakfast table.
Later, while Mary Ann and Ginger were doing the breakfast dishes, Gilligan's dilemma was still the topic of conversation.
"Can you believe Gilligan actually believing he's descended from a cannibal?" said Mary Ann to Ginger.
"It might explain the way he's looked at us before." Ginger answered.
"I'm sure that has nothing to do with it," replied Mary Ann. "Besides, I refuse to believe that Gilligan could do harm to anyone."
"I don't know," said Ginger with a far-way, wistful look. "I'm not sure I'd entirely mind being eaten once in a while. I'm not used to the lack of male attention I get on this island. A little excitement and danger would be a nice change."
"Well," said Mary Ann sarcastically, "maybe this is your opportunity. If you can get Gilligan's attention away from that totem pole, that is."
Ginger's face brightened with a look of inspiration, and then changed to a sly expression.
"Mary Ann," she said, "You've given me an idea."
Back at the Howell’s hut Mrs. Howell was having it out with Mr. Howell.
"What do you mean, you've had thoughts about Ginger before?" demanded Mrs. Howell within moments of entering the Howell's hut.
"Lovey, I was just making conversation," Mr. Howell replied, in an almost pleading tone. He was in trouble and he knew it.
"Really, Thurston" she sniffed. "That was much more than breakfast table banter. The gleam you had in your eye when you said it spoke volumes. After all, I've seen that sort of look before."
"I was only trying to reassure the girls that they have nothing to fear from Gilligan. If they feel that they have more to fear from me than they do from Gilligan, they know that YOU will never let them have anything to fear from me."
"Stop skirting the issue, Thurston," Mrs. Howell demanded. "That was not a comment you just pulled out of the air. You meant it! Now if you are having fantasies about Ginger, I want to know about them."
"Lovey, when I married you, I promised that I would never have sex with any woman but you. I never promised I would never have a FANTASY about another woman! On this island, how could I not?"
"It's not that you have the fantasy that bothers me, Thurston," she answered. "It's that you have kept the fantasies from me."
"Lovey, it's bad enough that we have to live in a hut on this dreary island without me risking the domestic peace by telling you every last thought in my head. Recall the incident with Gilligan's mind-reading seeds?"
"Of course I do, Thurston, but in that case every thought you had was one of greed. We are talking about thoughts of lust. There are no desirable young men on this island to stimulate MY fantasies, so don't you think I should have the benefit of some of yours?"
She glared at him with an intensity that told him that she expected an answer, and that only one answer would do. He knew better than to cross her. He had to agree with her, but he had to do it so that he didn't look like a pussy-whipped wimp. He clasped his hands behind his back and cast his gaze thoughtfully to the ground while he paced slightly. Then, taking a deep breath he looked upward.
"Well, Lovey, since you put it that way... I suppose that sharing a few fantasies might, on occasion, be in order."
He looked back at her attempting to match the intensity of her stare.
"... But I will expect a little quid pro quo."
"Of course, Thurston," she replied in a condescending tone. "Now, explain to me your fantasy about Ginger."
"Lovey dear, Ginger is a glamourous, beautiful movie star. Although I personally have never seen any of her films, I know the kind of movies she does requires that she be sexy and alluring. And while my blood may be a bit more blue than red, it doesn't mean that I am immune to her charms."
"That doesn't answer my question, Thurston," she replied sternly. "You told Ginger that you had thoughts of eating her! I want you to elaborate on that."
Mr. Howell rolled his eyes and sighed. "Lovey, it was just a thought that popped into my head. Yes, I have imagined what it would be like to kiss her or to suck on her breasts, or even to kiss her on what I imagine to be that lovely red patch of hers, but eating her like a cannibal is not something that had really ever occurred to me before."
"Just as I always thought." said Mrs. Howell. "You really don't have much of an imagination, do you Thurston?"
"Lovey, I get the impression that you are fishing for something. I think that maybe it is YOU that has the fantasy."
"Well...,” said Mrs. Howell.
Bull's Eye, Mr. Howell thought to himself, I've got her!
"Well?" he said slowly, allowing a 'pregnant pause' to follow his uncompleted question.
She withdrew a bit, demurely and almost penitently casting her eyes downward.
"Remember when that group of cannibals invaded the island, drawn by Gilligan's drumming, and we had to hide out in a cave?"
"Of course I do, Lovey," he replied tenderly, "it was a frightening time for us all."
"Frightening yes," she said, once again directing her intense look at her husband, "but I also found it thrilling. I secretly wondered what it would be like to be served as dessert to those drooling savages."
"Lovey! Uncivilized savages? They wouldn't even know the proper wine to serve us with!"
"Ah, but you would my dear," she cooed, tenderly stroking his cheek.
Mr. Howell finally understood. A little fantasy play just might add a little spice to their lives.
“What are you suggesting?” Mr. Howell asked with a hint of a gleam in his eye. “A little fantasy game of ‘The Kupa-Kai and the Socialite?’”.
“That could make life on the island a bit more interesting” she answered.
“Ah”, he said with understanding. “A bit of fantasy roleplay. I could be game for that. That would need to be planned, though”.
“So plan it”, she said.
Mr. Howell laughed. “Very well”, he said. “I shall.”
The Skipper had been chopping wood for cooking fires and left his axe at the woodpile. Gilligan knew exactly where this was. Perhaps he could solve this whole problem if he could just get rid of that crazy old totem pole. Grabbing the axe from the woodpile he ran toward the spot where the totem pole stood.
Gilligan stood at the base of the totem pole and started at the face that he now felt was the face of his ancestor. “You!”, he said to the carved wood, “You are the cause of all this! Well, I am going to get rid of you once and for all!”
Gilligan placed a step stool next to the totem pole to allow him to get up to the top carving. He swung the axe and gave the neck a few good whacks. The pole was solid, but the wood yielded to his blade and soon the head began to wobble. With one last big chop the head separated and fell to the ground. Gilligan got down and raised the axe to strike into the main part of the pole, and as he swung his eye caught the severed head lying on the ground by the pole, causing him to stop his swing.
He stared at the head and realized what he had just done.
“I cut off the head!” he shouted. “Just like a headhunter!”
His eyes glazed over.
“I am a Kupa-Kai. I AM A KUPA-KAI!”
Mary Ann was heading down her usual path to the place where she got the yucca seeds that she used to make the crust for her coconut cream pies. She figured that if anything could cheer up Gilligan and make him forget all about this Kupa-Kai cannibal nonsense it would be one of her coconut cream pies that Gilligan loved so much. They had made him forget about losing his hair that time, and about that time he was bitten by the mantis khani and a bunch of other times, too. Any other man his age would forget about all those things just from seeing her dressed in her short shorts and almost just as short off-the-shoulder top, but Gilligan never seemed to react to that and she never quite understood why. She had wondered if he and the Skipper were gay lovers, but from the way that the Skipper looked at Ginger there had to be at least a glimmer of lust in that leer, and he never looked at Gilligan that way, so… who really knew? At least she didn’t have to worry about being raped when she dressed like that. The island’s men were always respectful, at least respectful enough not to annoy the CBS censors.
As she wandered down the path she heard a rushing in the path she heard someone coming from another direction and whoever they were they were coming fast and in earnest, like they were headed somewhere important or with something important to do. She stopped in her tracks to try to see who it was, and they emerged from the jungle quickly. It was Gilligan, and he had a wild look in his eye and was carrying an axe.
“Gilligan!” Mary Ann gasped in a moment of shock. “Careful with that axe, Eugene”. She wondered why she had said that. It couldn’t be because of the song; that album wouldn’t come out for another year.
Gilligan was just as confused and shot her an odd look. Who was Eugene? He was Mashukah; King of the Kupa-Kai cannibals!
Gilligan looked at Mary Ann as if he was seeing her for the first time. He never had really noticed just how delicious she looked; those long, tanned and shapely legs, the enticing curve of her butt, and her lean, tan and succulent belly. As he looked at her his mouth actually began to water as he thought about how good Mary Ann looked; good enough to eat!
As he looked her over he licked his lips and his mind went to thinking how good that Mary Ann would taste. He saw her laid out on a platter, glistening with oil and crusted in salt and pepper. His mind imagined tucking into her meaty thigh and scrumptious belly and imagined her tasting like a Christmas prime rib roast.
Mary Ann was troubled and confused. It seemed that Gilligan was finally taking notice of her and the way that she was dressed. On the other hand, he wasn’t looking at her in quite the same way that the Skipper looked at Ginger. He was looking at her more in the way that he looked at one of her coconut cream pies. His intense and, frankly, hungry gaze made her feel uneasy.
“Oh, Gilligan,” Mary Ann said in a concerned tone, “You’re not still going on about the Kupa-Kai cannibal thing, are you? You are NOT a cannibal, so forget about all that nonsense, huh?”
The only word that Gilligan heard was “cannibal”. It was as if she kept repeating, “cannibal, cannibal, cannibal.” He got up close to Mary Ann. He could smell her, and she smelled good. He felt a primal stirring and he leaned in close to smell her neck. He grabbed her waist and licked her bare neck and shoulder. The skin of her midriff felt velvety soft. How tender that must be, he thought. With one arm behind her back and the other wrapped around her shoulders, he dipped her like they were dancing a tango and leaned down to taste her on her belly.
“GILLIGAN!” Mary Ann shouted, and slapped Gilligan on his ear and cheek.
“Ow!” Gilligan said. “Twice in one day.”
“Gilligan, you are just acting crazy. Now stop it, do you hear? No more of this cannibal nonsense.”
Gilligan came to the realization of what he had been doing.
“See!”, he said, “I am a Kupa-Kai cannibal! It’s in my blood!”
With that Gilligan ran off screaming into the jungle.
“Oh, dear,” said Mrs. Howell as she looked at the bite mark on Ginger’s crotch. “Gilligan did this?” she asked.
“Yes, he did” answered Ginger. “I should have known better. I thought I could get his mind off his obsession with that native totem pole. Now I think I have only made it worse.”
“I can clean it with a little bit of Thurston’s brandy and bandage it,” said Mrs. Howell. “It should be fine. I think we can be reasonably sure that Gilligan doesn’t have rabies.”
Ginger grimaced a bit as Mrs. Howell dabbed her wound with a brandy-soaked cloth. “I’m not sure I can be sure of anything anymore,” Ginger responded. “I don’t know… maybe Gilligan really is a cannibal.”
“No,” replied Mrs. Howell, “He’s just a very confused boy. And, it seems, his constant state of confusion may be contagious.” It was clear that Mrs. Howell was implying something.
Mary Ann entered as Mrs. Howell was preparing to bandage Ginger’s wound.
“What is going on here?” she asked.
“Gilligan bit Ginger,” answered Mrs. Howell. “I am cleaning and bandaging it.”
“He bit you?” gasped Mary Ann to Ginger. “There? I won’t even ask. I just had an odd run in with him, too.”
“Did he try to bite you too?” asked Ginger.
“No, but he sniffed me and…,” Mary Ann paused and, very slightly and daintily, shuddered. “…licked me.”
“He licked me, too,” said Ginger a bit dreamily, “it was nice until he brought out the teeth.”
“Not like that,” said Mary Ann waving her hand dismissively. “He licked me on my tummy, like he was tasting me. I think that is exactly what he was doing.”
“Oh, dear!”, said Mrs. Howell. “This cannibal obsession is really getting out of control. I wonder what we can do to bring him back to his senses before he hurts someone.”
Mary Ann looked off into the distance and put her finger to her cheek. “Hmmm”, she muttered. “I wonder…” she mused, and turned to leave the hut.
As she prepared to leave, Mary Ann turned back to Ginger and Mrs. Howell with a determined look.
“All right, I have an idea. I think we need to do something to prove to Gilligan that he is not a cannibal” she said. “I think I have an idea how to do that.”
“How are you going to prove to him that he’s not a cannibal?”, Ginger asked.
“By literally offering to let him eat me” Mary Ann answered.
“But won’t that prove that he is a cannibal?” pondered Mrs. Howell.
“Only if he actually does eat me”, said Mary Ann. “But I need your help,” she said, turning to the others. “Here’s the plan…”
Living on an island options were limited. Gilligan’s main concern was for the safety and well-being of his fellow castaways and cherished friends. Gilligan could not trust himself to live among them now that it had been revealed to him that he was a Kupa-Kai cannibal warrior. He could not allow himself to eat his friends, but as a descendent of a Kupa-Kai Cannibal King how could he avoid his innate tendencies and flesh-hunger for long? No, he thought, there is only one thing to do, and that is to move to the other side of the island where he could isolate himself from the temptation.
Skipper and the Professor watched with interest and concern.
“He’s moving to the other side of the island because he can’t trust himself here” the Skipper said. “He’s convinced that he’s decended from that carving on the totem pole.”
“Gilligan has no native instincts either for head-hunting or for survival” the Professor advised. “We need to find a way to stop him and get him to see reason.”
“Easier said than done”, said the Skipper. “We’d better think fast.”
Just then Ginger joined them. “Mary Ann has a plan to convince Gilligan that he’s not really a Kupa-Kai”, she whispered.
“What is it?” the Skipper asked.
“It’s complicated”, Ginger explained, “And a bit risky if you ask me”.
“What can we do?” asked the Professor. “Maybe we can mitigate the risk”.
Ginger shot the professor a questioning look.
“We need to steer Gilligan to the supply hut”, she said. “Mary Ann is all set up there.”
Ginger scurried away leaving the men waiting for Gilligan outside his hut. Gilligan emerged shortly with his belonging tied into a sheet on the end of a long stick.
“Don’t try to stop me”, Gilligan told them. “I need to go where the rest of you will be safe, and where I can hunt alone.”
“We’re with you, Little Buddy” the Skipper said, patting Gilligan on the back.
“There are some things in the supply hut that you should take”, said the Professor. “They will come in handy for you in your new home”.
“Thanks”, said Gilligan. “I’m glad somebody believes that I’m actually a Kup-Kai cannibal.”
The two men walked with Gilligan toward the supply hut. Gilligan opened the door to the hut and walked in. Inside he saw a large iron cauldron sitting over a pile of wood. Next to it stood Mary Ann setting up cooking supplies on a small table.
“Hi, Gilligan!” she said in a friendly tone. “We decided that we should give you a nice going away dinner before you leave”.
“That’s very nice of you, Mary Ann” he said. “What are you cooking?”
“You will be doing the cooking, Gilligan” she said. “When you are living on the other side of the island you won’t have me or Ginger to do your cooking. You will have to use those cannibal instincts to do it yourself”.
Confused, Gilligan scratched his head and stammered, “What am I going to cook?”
Mary Ann picked up a salt shaker and started shaking salt onto her bare midriff and onto her arms.
“Me!” she said.
“What? y… y… you?” asked Gilligan incredulously.
“Sure me”, she said, pulling off her halter top. “Who better than me?”
Gilligan’s mouth gaped wide open as he watched her undress.
“You’re taking off your clothes!” Gilligan gasped.
“Oh, don’t be silly, Gilligan”, she chided. “You can’t cook my clothes, now can you?” she said as she removed her shorts.
“N… n… no, I guess not” he stammered.
Mary Ann stood naked before Gilligan. She turned around to give him a good look and stroked her naked body with her hands.
“Do I look delicious, Gilligan?” she asked coyly. “I hope I will be delicious and make a wonderful going away dinner for you.”
“But… b… b… but… I can’t eat you Mary Ann”, she said.
“Why not?” she asked as she moved a step stool up next to the cauldron. “A real Kupa-Kai would not turn down the offer of a tasty girl stew.”
She stepped up onto the stool and then swung her legs over the lip of the cauldron and pushed herself in. “I’m ready to be cooked now”, she said as she settled back into the water filled pot.
“It’s a bit cold in here” she said. “You should light the fire.” She pointed toward a lit torch.
Gilligan did as he was told. With an expression of dazed confusion he took the torch and lit the pile of wood under the cauldron on fire.
“That’s good” said Mary Ann. “Now there are some spices and herbs on the table. Sorry we don’t have the sort of spices the Kupa-Kai use, but you are more used to normal seasonings anyway.”
Gilligan watched Mary Ann as she lounged in the giant cauldron. He had to admit to himself that she did look delicious. He was used to seeing her in her shorts and belly shirts and he always liked to look. Now he could see all of her and the sight made his pulse quicken and his pants felt tighter. This must have been why he always liked looking at her bare skin. Maybe he always wanted to eat her and he just didn’t know.
Mary Ann splashed the water over her chest and neck and rubbed her arms. “The water is starting to get hot”, she cooed, “I should start cooking soon”.
She reached for a large spoon off the the table and started to stir the broth, scooping out some of the liquid and dribbling it over her breasts. Gilligan watched with his mouth watering; his dick just about bursting the zipper of his pants.
He felt a sudden urge to stick the spoon into the bubbling broth, possibly to cool it down or stir it better, but then he remembered Mary Ann's words. A real Kupa-Kai would not turn down the offer of a tasty girl stew. Gilligan's heart raced as he took the spoon, making sure not to touch Mary Ann's body, and dipped it into the warm liquid. He slowly brought it back up and leaned in close to take a deep whiff, savoring the aroma of his dear friend, now his potential meal.
"Gilligan," Mary Ann said, her voice firm yet gentle, "you need to try the stew. Prove to yourself that you can handle it. Prove that you are still in control."
Gilligan hesitated for a moment, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts. He popped open the button of his pants and pulled down the zipped letting his pants fall to the ground. He ripped his shirt over his head and dove toward the pot. bounding over the step he jumped right into the pot with Mary Ann. He pushed her up against the side of the pot and buried his face into her belly. He licked her belly from her navel to her sternum, moving his mouth to her beautiful young and ripe breasts. He savored the taste of her body, flavored with the oil and spices from the pot.
"Oh, Gilligan!” Mary Ann said. “Are you going to cook yourself along with me?”
Gilligan was no longer thinking of the Kupa-Kai head on the totem pole. All he could see was Mary Ann; her glistening skin, her naked curves, her scent. At that moment the only thing that he wanted in the world was her.
Mary Ann giggled and pushed him away gently, causing him to tumble in the water, splashing it everywhere. The heat of the broth and fire began to intensify, causing steam to fill the hut.
Gilligan sat up, coughing from the unexpected water and steam in his face. He looked around in a daze at Mary Ann, who was now carefully stirring the bubbling mixture.
"Well," he said finally, trying to find his voice, "it looks like we both need to adjust our expectations for dinner tonight."
Mary Ann chuckled and reached for a small bowl of salad she had placed on the table nearby. She tossed a handful of lettuce into the pot, watching as it floated on the surface for a moment before submerging beneath the water.
"In the spirit of Kupa-Kai cuisine," she said, smiling, "let's make this a feast to remember."
He didn't care if he was a cannibal or not, he just needed to be close to her, to taste her, to feel her against him. The fire raged beneath them as they clung to each other in the cauldron, the heat intensifying their passion, the steam fogging their vision.
Mary Ann shivered as Gilligan's lips trailed down her stomach, leaving a trail of wet kisses that made her skin tingle. She moaned softly, her voice just barely audible over the roaring fire.
Gilligan's hands roamed over her body, cupping her breasts and pinching her nipples, causing her to arch her back and cry out in pleasure. The sensation was overwhelming, her body responding to his touch, her mind lost in the euphoria of the moment.
Their desperate kiss was hungry, all-consuming, as they rubbed against each other in the steaming water, their bodies entwined, their hearts beating in sync. Gilligan reached between her legs, his fingers grazing her entrance, eliciting a gasp from Mary Ann.
"Please Gilligan..." she whispered, a tremble in her voice as she begged for more. "I need you, now."
His thumb slipped inside her, causing her to cry out in pleasure and pain. He could feel her wetness, her need.
"I need you too," he growled, his voice thick with lust. He pushed himself into her, feeling the warmth of her body envelop him. They moved together, their bodies in perfect sync, their breath mingling as they kissed.
As the fire raged and the water sloshed around the cauldron, the two lovers moved in perfect harmony, their passion and desire consuming them. It was a feast to remember, a night neither would ever forget. As they both neared climax the cauldron started to rock and tip. Gilligan felt an overwhelming sensation wash over him and pressed into her hard. As the both came, the pot tipped over, spilling them both onto the ground.
As the fire began to die down, they lay there in each other's arms, content and at peace. For in that moment, they had forgotten all about the Kupa-Kai, the totem pole, and the cannibals.
“Still thinking of eating me?” Mary Ann asked.
“Guess I’m not a Kupa-Kai”, Gilligan said.
“No” said Mary Ann. “Nobody ever thought that you were.”
While all of this was transpiring the castaways were completely unaware of a group of visitors arriving on the island. These visitors hid their boats in a cove and made for a spot that they knew on the island. When they arrived at the totem pole that their ancestors had left they were horrified to find the head of their great king Mashukah missing from the top of the pole and lying on the ground. They picked up the severed head and set it back up at the top of the pole where it belonged.
“Whoever do this… DIE!” said one of them (in Kupa-Kai).
The next morning all seemed normal again with the castaways. The Professor and Skipper cleaned up the mess in the supply hut and Mary Ann cooked breakfast as normal. No one discussed the affairs of the previous day, although it was on everyone’s mind.
After breakfast Mary Ann went to check on Gilligan in his hut. He seemed in good spirits working around the hut.
“You seem happy”, said Mary Ann cheerfully.
“I am happy” Gilligan replied in a similar tone.
“Well, if you’re happy, I’m happy” said Mary Ann. “What are you doing?”
“I thought I would go get that old head from the totem pole and bring it back here”, he said.
“Oh, why would you want that old thing here?”, Mary Ann asked with a hint of disgust in her voice.
“Whenever i get lonely, I can talk to myself!” Gilligan answered with enthusiasm and headed out for the totem pole.
Arriving at the totem pole Gilligan looked around for the head that he had cut off from the totem pole. Not seeing it on the ground he searched around the pole and the surrounding foliage.
“Hey, Kupa King”, he said, “Where’d your noggin go?”
scratching his head in confusion he looked up to see that the head was back at the top of the pole.
“How did you get back up there”, he puzzled.
All of his confused feelings from the last few days came rushing back to him and a feeling of terror gripped him.
“That’s OK”, he stammered. “I don’t wanna know!”, and with that he took off running to find the Skipper.
Meanwhile the Skipper and the Professor had an idea to put this whole incident behind them. They would get rid of the totem pole altogether.
“This is a good idea, Professor”, said the Skipper as they walked through the jungle toward the totem pole. “That thing will be more useful as firewood anyway”.
“Out of sight, out of mind”, said the Professor. “Once it’s gone Gilligan will forget all about it in a very short time. He certainly doesn’t need any reminders.”
The Skipper stopped in his tracks and put out his hand to stop the Professor.
“Well don’t look now”, he said, “But there are three big reminders coming this way!”
The two men ducked into the bush and hid. Peering out through the brush they watched three native men walk by down the trail.
“Are those what I think they are?” the Skipper asked.
“Yes”, the Professor answered. “Those are real Kupa-Kai!”
“We had better go warn the others” the Skipper said. As they got up to go back to the camp they saw Gilligan running down the trail. They reached out and grabbed him as he passed.
“Skipper!” Gilligan exclaimed. “Something weird is happening.”
“You are right” said the Skipper. “There are real Kupa-Kai cannibals on the island.”
“Well there’s good news. Bye!” said Gilligan as he turned to run again. The Skipper grabbed him and pulled him back.
“We need to go warn the others. Don’t make a racket!” the Skipper demanded. “Let’s go back to the huts. Carefully!”
With all that had been happening recently on the island Mrs. Howell’s interest in exploring their sexy role-play game was increasing. Thinking that the crisis had passed, she and Mr. Howell began to plan their “Kupa-Kai and the Socialite” game. They agreed that Mr. Howell would pretend to be a Kupa-Kai warrior and stalk her in the jungle, capture her… and take it from there. Mrs. Howell dressed in one of her more alluring gowns and walked out into the jungle, expecting Mr. Howell as a Kupa-Kai to have his way with her.
As she ventured deeper into the jungle, a figure emerged from the shadows. Dressed in traditional Kupa-Kai attire, complete with a fierce tribal tattoo adorning his muscular body, the man slowly approached Mrs. Howell. She gasped in feigned fear and tried to run, but the Kupa-Kai warrior was too quick for her. He grabbed her by the arm and hauled her toward him.
“Thurston” she said, breaking character, “Being a Kupa-Kai seems to have done wonders for you. It has even improved your physique!”
The Kupa-Kai grunted and twisted her arm.
“A very good acting job, Thurston” she said. “But no need to be so rough.”
The warrior pulled on her arm and dragged her through the jungle. “Well alright”, she said. “I will play along. Let’s see where this goes.”
Mr. Howell heard his wife yelp, and concerned that she had started without him he followed the sound. As he searched for her he stumbled upon the Kupa-Kai village, hidden deep within the island's jungle. The tribal members were gathered around a massive bonfire, their eyes fixed on the ground. As he moved closer, Mr. Howell saw the severed head of the Kupa-Kai king lying on the ground.
Mr. Howell stood silent, his face a mixture of fear and confusion. The Kupa-Kai elders surrounded him, their weapons glinting in the firelight. Shortly another warrior dragged Mrs. Howell into the gathering.
“Thurston!” she said, stunned to see him. “Did you hire a crew?”
“No, my dear” he said. “I think that these may be real Kupa-Kai warriors.”
“Well why did you invite them” she inquired. “We don’t need that much realism.”
“I’m afraid that they invited themselves”, he said. “I never did like party crashers.”
“Well, Thurston I think you should insist that they leave at once!” she demanded.
“You”, Mr. Howell said, pointing to the largest warrior, “How much to let me and my wife”, he pointed indicting Mrs. Howell, “Go free? Ten Thousand?”
The warrior looked both angry and confused.
“Twenty Five thousand?” he asked again. “Oh come now, every man has his price.”
“Kupa! Bala Kupa!” the warrior shouted angrily.
“Sounds terribly expensive”, commented Mrs. Howell as the warriors dragged the Howells toward a tall palm tree and tied them to it.
Back at the camp the Skipper gathered the castaways.
“I don’t want anyone to panic”, he said, “But it looks like a group of real Kupa-Kai warriors have invaded the island.”
“What do we do?” asked Ginger. “I didn’t go on a diet to be a low-cal meal plan.”
“I think we are going to need to arm ourselves and fortify the camp against attack”, said the Professor.
“Where are the Howells?” the Skipper asked.
“I think they went off into the jungle”, said Mary Ann. “A little while ago”.
“Alright”, said the Skipper, “We need to find them and bring them back here quickly. Everyone be careful!”
Mrs. Howell looked at the giant cauldron that the natives were stirring up; steam rising from the hot liquid coming to a boil inside.
“Thurston, I didn’t know we were invited for dinner”, she said.
“I’m afraid my dear, we are the dinner!” Mr. Howell responded.
“Isn’t there something you can do?”, she asked.
“I have tried everything’, said Mr. Howell. “I even offered them seats on the New York Stock Exchange.”
“And they turned you down?” Mrs. Howell exclaimed.
Hidden in the brush nearby the Skipper and the Professor watched.
“They got the Howells”, said the Skipper.
“It looks like they are preparing to cook them right away” said the Professor.
“Do you think we could take them?” the Skipper asked.
“We’re outnumbered and short on weapons”, answered the Professor.
“If we got Gilligan it would make the odds better” said the Skipper. He paused and then added, “On the other hand it might make matters worse.”
“Gilligan is exactly who we need”, said the Professor. “Gilligan can repulse them just by showing his face.”
“I admit he’s no Carry Grant” said the Skipper, “but he hardly has a face like a Frankenstein’s monster.”
“But he does have a face like a Kupa-Kai king” the professor corrected him. “If Gilligan can convince them that he’s their dead king come back to life…”
“He could save us all!” the Skipper completed. “Let’s go!”
“It’s creepy walking around in a jungle that might be full of cannibals” said Mary Ann.
“Yes, and this time it’s not just Gilligan thinking he’s a cannibal” added Ginger.
“I don’t see the Howells anywhere”, said Mary Ann. “Do you think that the cannibals got them?”
“I think that if we don’t get back to camp the cannibals are going to get us” ginger answered.
“If they already got the Howells maybe they won’t be hungry” Mary Ann speculated.
“Mary Ann, who do you think a cannibal would rather eat?” asked Ginger. “The Howells, or us?”
Mary Ann looked over Ginger’s curves and red hair, and then her own luscious figure in her shorts and bare midriff top.
“I was going to make a joke about the Howells being ‘rich food’”, said Mary Ann. “but as much as I hate to say it, definitely us”.
“Uh, huh” said Ginger. “We need to get back to camp. Maybe the Skipper has found the Howells already.”
As the girls made their way back toward the huts they could not help but feel that they were being watched.
Suddenly Mary Ann felt a hand reach out of the bush and cover her mouth. The other had was around her waist. She felt rough grass and feathers on her skin and noticed that the hand was feeling and pinching the skin of her stomach. She could swear she hears her captor mutter, “yum yum”. She looked out to find Ginger to see that a large native warrior had also grabbed her and was carrying her off into the jungle as Ginger struggled.
Back at the camp the Professor was getting Gilligan dressed in the primitive finery of a Kupa-Kai king. He instructed Gilligan in what to say.
“Alright Gilligan”, the Professor said. “The Kupa-Kai words for ‘release the prisoners’ are ‘Pulu si Bagumba’. Remember that.”
“Poogie Loo Labamba” Gilligan tried to repeat.
“No”, said the Professor, “Pulu Si Bagumba”, he repeated slowly.
“Pala Ba Pachanga”, Gilligan tried again.
“Oh, no, Gilligan! This is very important!” said the Professor impatiently, “Please listen carefully and remember. ‘Pulu Si Bagumba’”.
At that moment the Skipper returned looking gravely concerned. Anxiously he addressed them both.
“I can’t find the girls”, he said. “I think the Kupa-Kai may have gotten them.”
“Now we really must get this right”, the Professor said. “Try again, Gilligan”.
“Bula See Pajama” Gilligan said. The Professor face-palmed.
“Gilligan, this is important” the Skipper shouted. “CONCENTRATE!”
“Pulu Si Bagumba” said Gilligan.
“That’s right!” the Professor exclaimed.
“What did I say?” asked Gilligan.
“Oh Gilligan, we don’t have time for this” the Skipper demanded. “We need to go now.”
“OK, said Gilligan, “but I want to get a look at myself in the mirror.”
“Oh, Gilligan”, said the Skipper. “Well hurry up!”
Gilligan went inside the hut while the Skipper and the Professor waited impatiently. While they were distracted a group of Kupa-Kai warriors emerged from behind one of the huts and clonked the two men on the head with clubs, stunning the men long enough for the Kupa-Kai to drag them away.
Gilligan emerged from the hut and called out to his companions but they were nowhere to be seen.
“Oh, no” said Gilligan. “They got ‘em”.
Gilligan suddenly found himself alone and without any allies. He couldn't believe that Mary Ann and Ginger had been captured, and worse, the Skipper and Professor had vanished too. As he looked around him, he noticed that the camp was now abandoned, with the huts standing empty and silent.
The sun began to set on the desolate island, casting long, ominous shadows that seemed to swallow the landscape whole. The sounds of the jungle grew quieter, as if the very flora and fauna were holding their breath, waiting for the next horrific turn of events.
Gilligan's heart raced as he crept closer to the bushes where he had last seen the Kupa-Kai warriors. He held his breath, peering through the thick foliage, hoping to catch a glimpse of them. But alas, he could see nothing but the empty palm fronds swaying in the breeze.
Just as he was about to turn back, a faint scent of something grilling filled his nostrils. It was a familiar aroma, one that he recognized from countless cooking fires he had built for the rest of the castaways - a blend burning wood, dried palm fronds, and the unmistakable scent of coconut husks. There was another smell, too, but he could not place it. He followed his nose to find the source of the scents.
Gilligan recognized where he was. This was where the Kupa-Kai totem pole was located. Peering out though the reeds and vines her could see a gathering of Kupa-Kai warriors standing around a large cooking pot. There was a fire burning under the pot and steam was beginning to rise from the liquid inside.
At the edges of the clearing were his friends. The Skipper and the Professor were tied with crude ropes to the totem pole itself. The Howells were tied to a palm tree. In the middle of the clearing were Mary Ann and Ginger. Their hands were tied behind their backs with more bindings around their ankles. Kupa-Kai warriors were holding them. A warrior holding Mary Ann was feeling and pinching the flesh on her midriff and thighs. He seemed very pleased with his catch. One of the warriors approached Ginger with a large knife. Ginger’s eyes widened in terror as the grinning warrior squeezed her upper arm with his hand and raised the knife with his other. He brought the knife up to Ginger and she screamed.
“No”, she screamed. “Don’t kill me, I’m a girl!”
The Kupa-Kai warrior looked back at her with an evil grin. With the knife he began to cut her dress off of her.
“Oh”, she cried in tears. “That’s one of my best dresses.”
The knife cut through the fabric without so much as a nick in Ginger’s creamy white skin. With the dress sliced all the way through he pulled it off of her. Her bra and panties soon followed, leaving Ginger completely bare in all of her red-headed glory.
The warrior looked her over with a grin on his face and a gleam in his eye. He licked his lips suggestively. The other Kupa-Kai watched and stared wide-eyed.
Meanwhile another Kupa-Kai held Mary Ann tightly from behind while another warrior was on his knees in front of her. As he fiddled with the button and zipper of her shorts he stared at her luscious, tanned, flat belly. Being a cannibal he had eaten women from other tribes but this one looked special to him. This one looked especially delicious and he just had to taste it. Grabbing a hold of her hips he leaned in and stuck his tongue deeply into her navel. He licked up her luscious belly to between her breasts, and then glided his tongue in sweeps across her abdomen back down to her hips. He pulled down on her shorts and slid them down her legs to the ground. He then did the same with her panties that were underneath. He reached up and pulled on the tied parts of her shirt, pulling it open to expose her breasts. Now standing he cupped her breasts in his hands and leaned down to put them in his mouth. He savored the taste of her. This would be a feast to remember, he thought.
What is he doing? Ginger asked Mary Ann.
“You can see”, Mary Ann replied. “I think he’s tasting me! And from the look on his face I think he likes it.”
“They have us naked now” said Ginger. “Do you think they’re going to have their way with us?”
“One way or another”, said Mary Ann. “Unless Gilligan can rescue us. He’s the only one left.”
“That’s not a comforting thought” Ginger said.
Mary Ann and Ginger were then herded over towards the pot. They were forced together and held there by the Kupa-Kai warriors. One warrior approached them with a bowl and a brush. He dipped the brush into the bowl and started brushing the girls bodies with a thick, fragrant oil from the bowl.
“Ea-eew”, said Ginger in disgust. “What is this?”
“Some kind of cooking oil I would think”, said Mary Ann. “So I don’t think we need to worry about rape anymore.”
The warriors holding the girls from behind then produced there large wooden shakers and started shaking a mix of herbs and spices onto the girls’ torso.
“They’re seasoning us for cooking!” said Mary Ann
The warriors then pushed the girls right up next to the pot as the warriors crowded around them.
The girls stood there naked, their bodies glistening from the oil and spices they had been covered with.
“Oh, dear!” said Mrs. Howell in disbelief. “I do believe they’re going to cook them in that pot!”
“If something doesn’t happen soon then we’ll be next”, said Mr. Howell.
“I do hope they’ll at least give me a big leaf to wrap myself in first” said Mrs. Howell.
The Skipper and Professor struggled with their ropes, trying to get free.
“We can’t let this happen” said the Professor. “If only there was something I could think of to stop them.”
“Better think fast”, said the Skipper. “The girls are about to go skinny dipping in that pot.”
The Professor tried to speak what little he knew of Kupa-Kai.
“Not cook girls. Girls too skinny. Not enough meat for all of you. Eat us instead.” the Professor said (in Kupa-Kai).
A warrior looked back at the Professor and said something back to him. He then patted his stomach and licked his lips, following with a belly-laugh.
“What did he say?” asked the Skipper.
“It was equivalent to ‘appetizer’”, answered the Professor.
The warrior said something else to the Professor, which he also translated.
“They will get to the rest of us eventually” said the Professor. “And we can’t have any of the girls. That’s all for them.
“Where the hell is Gilligan?”, said the Skipper.
“I’m here”, said Gilligan, poking his head through the vines.
“Where have you been Gilligan?” said the Skipper. “Can’t you see what is happening?”
“What are we going to do?” asked Mary Ann. “That pot looks hot!”
“Well, I have an idea” said Ginger. “It’s from a movie. Not one that I was in but it was a similar situation.”
“What?” asked Mary Ann, “was a movie that was similar to this?”
Ginger whispered in Mary Ann’s ear. “When they come for us, follow my lead.”
The cannibals then came to take the girls. As they got close, Ginger started.
“Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Baker’s Man”. Ginger and Mary Ann clapped each others hands as they said it.
“Bake a cake as Fast as you…”
The girls swung to punch the cannibals in the face, but as if knowing what was coming the cannibals ducked and the girls blows missed. The cannibals than grabbed the girls from below, lifted them up and threw them into the pot.
“Road To Zanzibar!” one of the cannibals shouted and the rest started laughing.
At that the Skipper struggled hard with his bonds. As he rocked the totem pole hard the head of the old Chief fell off onto the ground. Gilligan caught it.
The cannibals began a dance around the girls as they rolled and flailed in the stew pot. The drums were beating as they chanted.
“If those cannibals discover that the head is missing, they’ll come over to investigate” said the Professor.
“I’ll put it back up” said Gilligan. He climbed up on the Skipper’s shoulders to get the head back on the top of the pole. As he did so his foot slipped and the head fell again.
As they danced one of the Kupa-Kai warriors looked up and saw that something seemed different about the head of Mashukah at the top of the totem pole. The face was moving and seemed alive. He stopped and stared at the totem pole. The others soon followed suit.
They gathered around the totem pole watching the face of Mashukah. Gilligan tried to remail still but he could not. The Kupa-Kai warriors all got down on the ground in tribute to their king.
“Simba, Mashukah. Simba, Mashukah. Simba Mashukah”, the chanted.
Gilligan could hold on no longer and slipped off of the Skipper’s shoulder. He landed on the ground and came out from behind the pole.
“Mashukah?” questioned one of the warriors as the others gaped at Gilligan with surprise and alarm.
Gilligan hesitated, but had a good idea of what he needed to do.
“Me Mashukah”, he said with all the authority he could muster.
“Pulu See…” his voice trailed.
“BAGUMBA” whispered the Professor.
“PULU SI BAGUMBA!” Gilligan shouted in a demanding tone.
The Kupa-Kai warriors exchanged confused looks but ultimately nodded their heads in agreement.
One by one, they approached Gilligan, staring at him intently. He stood tall and proud, with the weight of an entire tribe resting on his shoulders. The Skipper and the Professor watched in awe as the transformation unfolded before their eyes.
Finally, the chief, Ummagumma, stepped forward. He eyed Gilligan from head to toe, carefully examining every detail of his outfit. The feathered headdress, grass skirt, and beaded accessories – it all seemed to resonate with the ancient customs of the Kupa-Kai.
Ummagumma then loudly proclaimed, "Mashukah! Mashukah, you have returned to us! The Kupa-Kai kingdom rejoices!"
The warriors erupted into a thunderous cheer, their voices echoing through the dense jungle. The girls, still suspended in the pot, watched in surprise as the tide of the situation suddenly shifted in their favor.
Gilligan, now embracing the mantle of Mashukah, said to Ummagumma, "Chief, I have returned to tell you that these people are not for eating.”
Chief Ummagumma looked over at the girls in the pot, now getting unbearably hot. He looked back at Mashukah. He pointed to the girls in the pot.
“How can you be Kupa-Kai and say not to eat them?” he asked. “No eat yummy meat, not Kupa-Kai!”
Gilligan had no response for this thinking. He looked questioningly at the Professor. Chief Kanoa watched the exchange. He started to question that this Mashukah was real.
“Me no think you Kupa-Kai”, he said advancing threateningly toward Gilligan. “Me no think you Mashukah!”
Gilligan became frightened and stumbled back. The show of fear emboldened the chief and cast doubt into the other Kupa-Kai. Gilligan turned to run and as he ducked behind the totem pole he stumbled and fell. As he fell he knocked the carved head of Mashukah, which rolled out the other side of the totem pole. It looked to the Kupa-Kai as if Mashukah’s head had come off.
“Mashukah!” one warrior exclaimed.
“We kill spirit of Mashukah!” shouted another.
The gathered Kupa-Kai, now terrified, degenerated into chaos. Abandoning their anticipated feast, they ran and scattered into the surrounding jungle. Desperate to get away from what they now considered a haunted island, they ran to their canoes and left the island.
Gilligan picked up the chief’s knife, which he had dropped, and cut the Skipper and the Professor free. They immediately went to free Ginger and Mary Ann from the pot.
“You did it, little buddy!” the Skipper exclaimed.
“Thank you, Gilligan”, said Mary Ann. “I don’t think we could have lasted in there much longer.”
“Well, you know what they say”, said Gilligan picking up the head of Mashukah. “Two heads are better than one!”